As I’m sure you can surmise, we like playing games as our family. We have lots of hobbies, but playing video games is one of them for sure. We came up with a family schedule we use to distribute our time between hobbies and time together.
Our Family Schedule
- Monday: Once our kiddo has gone down for the night, Hubs and I spend time doing something together, sometimes a shared hobby like video games and sometimes we watch something.
- Tuesday: Hubs and I do our own thing, usually in the same room.
- Wednesday: Date night! Hubs and I don’t normally do traditional date nights, but we try to do something special at home like dressing up for date night and being really intentional.
- Thursday: Hubs and I usually do our own thing.
- Friday: Hubs and I usually do something together once our kiddo has gone to bed for the night.
Why bother with a family gaming schedule?
Hubs and I found that we didn’t always know how to talk about our evenings. We wanted to spend time together, but we also wanted space and time to do our own thing occasionally. (Whether that be playing video games, crafting, reading, watching our own shows, etc) So how does one balance that without disappointing the other?
We found this article, which explained about how they talked through life with their spouse and have a weekly meeting. Hubs and I decided that we wanted to talk additional things, including what days during the week we’d do our own thing and what days during the week we’d hang out. That way, we both are prepared mentally for how our evening will likely go.
**If one of us is not doing okay and needs to hang with the other (generally me), or if one of us needs more alone time because it’s been a challenging day at work (generally Hubs), we will communicate that to the other and find compromise.**
Expectations are a really important thing for parents to discuss, because you don’t want resentment to build up between you. If you don’t chat about what your desires are, you are setting yourself up to be potentially disappointed.
How to Implement a Family Gaming Schedule
Do you want to talk to your spouse about implementing something similar? Here’s what I suggest:
- Pray!! You really want this conversation to go well, so ask for the Lord to guide what you say and how you say it.
- Think through what your specific desires are. Once you’ve identified your desires, take additional time to think about it and pray about it. It’s important to take a bit of time to make sure you identified your true need rather than emotionally reacted because of a feeling.
- Present your reasons. After you’ve taken that time to chat, write out what you feel you are needing. If it’s more time for hobbies, write it out. If it’s more time together with your spouse, write it out.
- Share a suggested solution. Don’t say, “You spend too much time playing games and not enough with me, so fix it,” and instead try something lie, “What if you do ______ on these days, and we do ______ on these days?”
- Be willing to compromise. Your spouse may not prefer the suggestion you offer, so be willing to brainstorm different solutions with them.
- Going forward…
- If you and your spouse can come up with a compromise, great! Now, decide how you will both keep your new schedule straight. Wall calendar? Shared Google Calendar? I suggest putting your gaming calendar wherever you both have access to one.
- If you and your spouse aren’t able to agree on something, I suggest that you take a break from the conversation and come back later.
Conclusion
I hope you find this helpful. Whether you also enjoy playing games or not, it’s important to give your spouse time to do things they love and not grow resentful of their hobbies (like video games or board games!).
If you decide to talk to your spouse about a family gaming schedule, let me know how it goes! I pray that everyone who reads this article and has the conversation with their spouse will be greatly blessed by the Lord.
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